It’s a question that most couples argue about: how involved should the groom be in wedding planning? There are those who believe the bride has to take on all of the responsibility and those who think it’s unfair for her to do so. In this blog post, we will explore how different people feel about how involved the groom should be in wedding planning and what you can do if your partner is not as excited as you might like them to be.
This article is perfect if you’re wondering how much involvement your groom should have when it comes to your big day!
What Are The Groom's Responsibilities For The Wedding?
In general, the groom’s job is to provide the wedding rings, rent a tuxedo, and show up. However, there are some traditions that involve the groom in wedding planning more than others. For example, if you have specific song requests for your first dance or even something as small as wanting him to wear his hair a certain way during the wedding, he needs to agree and support.
Some grooms are more involved in choosing the venue or flowers than others, but for some men, it can be a scary responsibility. If you feel like your groom is getting overwhelmed with wedding planning duties, consider letting him give up one of his responsibilities to another family member; perhaps even let him choose which responsibility is the one that he doesn’t care to do.
It’s important to keep in mind that all grooms are different and consider what each of their roles means to them personally before you start planning your wedding together.
Groom's Duties Before The Ceremony
Before the ceremony, the groom and his groomsmen will need to:
- get ready at a venue that is separate from where the bride and her bridesmaids get ready
- have their photos taken with just them in order to not ruin any of the bride’s wedding day photos, such as getting dressed or doing last-minute touchups. These can be done before the ceremony.
- help take wedding party photos, which means they need to be at the venue early enough for formal family and bridal party prep photos; it’s best if these are done right after guests arrive so that everyone is seated already or getting drinks/snacks
- be in place on the groom’s side of the aisle 30 minutes prior to the ceremony
- help with seating guests at table numbers that the bride wrote out on reception tables or in programs, which must be done before the wedding party’s entrance.
- the groom may also want to go around and make sure everyone can see okay. He will need help from groomsmen here as well if they have seated far apart
- walk-up with the wedding party to take his place next to the bride
- do a mental rehearsal of walking down the aisle and standing at the altar so he does not look behind him when it’s time to go.
Groom's Duties During The Reception
- Groom must be at the reception on time and ready to greet guests. He should also help with seating arrangements if necessary.
Keep in mind that he may need a few minutes to get dressed while everyone else is seated, but it’s important for him to arrive before his bride so she doesn’t have to walk down the aisle alone.
- Groom should be prepared to toss the garter during “the throwing of the garters.” You can also ask him to give away or dance with his mother, grandmother, sister(s), and/or any other special woman in your wedding party before dancing his first dance with you.
- The groom is responsible for helping his groomsmen get ready for the big day. This may include shaving, getting dressed, and any other tasks that need to be done before being in attendance at your wedding ceremony or reception.
- Groom should show up to pick out boutonnieres with you if possible. Some couples choose not to have flowers for their groom and groomsmen, so this step is unnecessary.
- Groom should show up to your engagement photo session if possible and be willing to participate in any of the photos you’d like him included in along with his wedding party or family members. It’s not mandatory for him to be present, but he will typically want some photos taken with you before the ceremony.
- Groom should show up to your rehearsal dinner if possible and be willing to participate in any of the activities you have planned for him or his family including speeches, skits, presentations, etc. It’s not mandatory that he attend, but it is customary since most couples spend so much money on this event.
After The Wedding
Though some traditionalists may believe that the groom is responsible for the honeymoon, this is no longer the case. Approach the trip in the same way you would a wedding: settle on the key items (location, money, and time of year) jointly, then split the rest of the tasks according to your own passions. It’s a lovely gesture to manage the trip if your partner handled the majority of the wedding preparations.
Another phase of the wedding process you’ll divide and conquer is writing thank-you cards. Split them up across your guest list—you do half, your partner does the other—and work on them together over a bottle of wine at the coffee table. Plan a fun activity for after you’re done (hello, date night!) to keep you motivated and avoid the post-wedding blues. It’s wonderful to have something to concentrate on when the big day is over, since it may be depressing.
The groom’s involvement in the wedding planning process is a personal decision that should be made together by both parties. This can range from anything like choosing where to get married, what style of dress she will wear and how many people they want at their reception. Designed Dream is a professional wedding planning services in the Greater Toronto Area offering couples perfect designed dream weddings.